What Does It Mean To Have God's Favor Upon Your Life?

What Does It Mean To Have God’s Favor Upon Your Life? By Machelle McDowell

There is a new song out called, “Blessings” by Elevation! I just love it! It moves me each time I hear it. There is a line in this song that has captured my attention.

May His favor be upon you.

Does God favor us? Does he delight in us?  

Listen to this: Isaiah 66:2 says,
“These are the ones I look on with favor; those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.” 

Let’s pick this verse apart just a little bit! I want to look at a few words up close. 

Let’s start with favor- to feel or show approval or preference for. Does God approve of your representation of him to others? Does he preference our actions towards him? Are we deserving of HIs favor? 

You know,  I didn’t make the association between grace (which is unmerited favor) and favor until I began to research what favor really is.  They are virtually the same! We don’t deserve either one. 

If God chooses to show favor, it does not make us exempt from the woes of the world. That is not what His favor does. 

The greatest act of God’s favor is that of eternal life, by grace we have been saved. And, it is only by His grace we are able to to live for the Lord in this dark world.

Like God’s grace….His favor is also unmerited. It is a gift. A gift of love from him to us! His favor upon our lives! 

Let’s peek into the the definition of humble. This word pops up frequently in the Bible.

I am convinced God shows favor on the humble. Listen to this definition: Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance. 

My favorite Bible illustration of humility is found in the book of John when Jesus himself bowed before his disciples and performed the deepest act of love recorded in Biblical history, (minus the crucifixion ofcourse), in my opinion. 

Jesus demonstrated a lifelong lesson for his disciples to continue after his ascension. He came to serve not to be served. He put the world before himself. God showed favor on his people through the work on the cross.

Contrite- What does this mean? Feeling or expressing remorse.

God shows us favor when we express remorse over our sin. When guilt consumes us to the point of conviction. 

When we confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved, (Romans 10:9). God is quick to forgive and show favor in gifting us with eternal life!

And lastly, what does it mean to tremble at God’s word? John lost all physical strength when God spoke to him (Rev 1:17). Remember the story of Paul on the Damascus road? He fell to the ground when Christ met him there, (Acts 9). Wow!

Do we read our Bibles with this kind of expectation? That God’s favor might fall upon us in a way we would tremble? 

If God can raise the dead, calm the seas, command the winds, I do not doubt He can cause us to tremble through his word. 

So, in summary, (paraphrased) this verse speaks of God’s favor by showing his approval to those who think more of others than themselves and are broken by the sin in our lives which drives us to ask for forgiveness and go to God’s word with the expectation of trembling at the message he has in store for us! 

May He show favor on you today!

When God grants you his favor, nothing can stop the blessings He has in store. (Anonymous)

What I Learned From An Elephant! By Machelle McDowell

Being Vulnerable is not all bad!

What does it mean to be vulnerable? The definition of vulnerable is to be susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

The enemy loves it! It is prime attack territory for him to pounce on us. It is a dangerous position to be in.

However, being vulnerable is something people avoid talking about. We hide from it! We don’t share with others about it! It’s like we are ashamed to show that we are vulnerable.  

In our eyes, it reflects that we are not living the perfect life we display to others. Depression, discouragement, anxiety, worry, and the list goes on that places us in a state of vulnerability. 

Why do we not reach out in times of vulnerability?

I recently learned a valuable lesson about how the Christian family is to respond to those in a vulnerable state. 

I watched a documentary on elephants. It was focusing on a mother elephant giving birth to a baby. It was amazing what happened! An elephant is at its most vulnerable state giving birth. A prime time for its enemy to attack. 

Check out this behavior:

The female elephant herd circled around the birthing mother. Shoulder to shoulder. They began to kick up dust in effort to create a security screen from the enemy. The dust dulled the scent of blood that could lure in predators. 

They began to lift their trunks and trumpet loudly in celebration of the birth of the new baby. They came to the side of their sister elephant in need! 

They were there for support, protection, celebration, and fellowship! Is this not the behavior we should model in our churches?

A strong wall of muscle and tusks that could scare away the enemy. Tons of weight built walls of protection around the birthing mom. 

I John 3:16-18 “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”

Wow! What a picture of how we are to rally around our vulnerable brothers and sisters in their vulnerable moments. And, in times of celebration.

To come alongside and raise our prayers up to the Father who bends down to listen on behalf of our Christian family, “Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” 

To surround him or her with words, deeds, actions of encouragement and love that ward off attack from our enemy, Satan. 

My prayer for us today is to be sensitive and on the look out for the vulnerable Christian.

Our churches are full of people with struggles beyond what they can bear. They will not always ask for help. 

Naturally we cannot reach out to the hurting if we are not aware, but sometimes we just need to take notice.

Just like the mother elephant showed signs of delivery. There were moans of pain and shedding of blood. The rest of her herd came to her aid! I find that intriguing!

Where are we when our brothers and sisters are hurting? 

Find courage my vulnerable friends! Vulnerability is not all bad. It has a sense of power that can lead us closer to God.

 It presents an opportunity for humility to come forth in our lives, to float to the surface above the pride that hinders it. 

Pride and humility are enemies. Pride keeps us in a vulnerable state. One in which imprisons us in our thinking by keeping us from reaching out for help. 

Pride Feeds on lie after lie of the enemy and convinces us that no one cares…..we are unworthy….why bother? Lies, Lies, all lies. Who is the father of lies? Satan himself.

When all the while humility patiently waits backstage to usher you into the God’s own throne room for healing. He sends a Godly messenger willing to fight for you….. armed with salvation, truth, righteousness, readiness, and most important the word! 

Forgive me friends! For all of the times I did not come to your aid when you needed the dust kicked up and the weight of protection surrounding you. 

What a wake call for us! Christians, may we be more observant of our fellow man? May we adopt the ways of the elephant? More about working together as a herd to minister to the world full of hurt. 

I am humbled by the acts of the elephant. I pray that we as brothers and sisters in Christ would not only reach out to the vulnerable but when we are in vulnerable situations ourselves, reach out and let brotherly love surround us in a way that we literally feel Christ himself wrapping his arms around us. 

Encircling us shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, prayer to prayer……a picture of the church!

How Close is God to You?

How Close is God to You? By Machelle McDowell

How close are you to God?

There are so many scriptures that describe just how close God is to us! I would like to share some of those scriptures with you today!

I love Isaiah 49:16- We are engraved on the palm of his hand! I think of Jesus being nailed to the cross and thinking of us by name each time he sees the scars on his hands. They represent each and every one of us.

One of my favorite scriptures that remind me of God’s presence is Zephaniah 3:17- “The Lord is in your midst.” This verse comes to life for me when I step outside early in the morning and see the sun popping up over the horizon and hear the melody of the birds as they herald in the morning. The gentle breeze that taps my cheek and moves my hair brings to life the breath of God upon my soul. It is like God says, “Good morning, I’m here!”

The list goes on! Jeremiah 29:13 reminds us that when we seek him, we find him, when we seek him with all of our heart!

He is not far away at any given moment. His spirit dwells within a child of God. God says he will dwell in us and walk among us; and he will be our God, and we shall be his people. Amen!

Did you know, God knows you by name? Isaiah 43:1 “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.” That powerful promise confirms that God knows our name! Before we were in our mother’s womb, he knew us! He laid down his life for us!

We are all familiar with the story of Zacchaeus found in Luke 19! Jesus walked into Jericho in the midst of a crowd of people. Zacchaeus was curious to see Jesus. He had heard a lot about him. He was a small man in stature and because of the crowd could not see Jesus, so he climbed into a sycamore tree to get a better look. Little did he know, his life would be changed that day, forever!

Jesus, walked through the crowd and stopped at the Sycamore tree! He glanced up and called Zacchaeus by name, “Zacchaeus, come down!” Zacchaeus answered the call! Jesus came to seek and save the lost.

Unlike us, Jesus does not forget a name. We all love it when people remember our names. it makes us feel special. Our names are written upon his heart and he yearns for us to write his name upon ours!

Maybe, he is calling your name today? Maybe you yearn to experience this closeness I speak of? Answer him! Call out to him and he will answer you!

Our very soul clings to him according to Psalm 63:8 and his right hand upholds us! How much closer can he be to us? We only need to recognize his presence and lean into it. Draw near to him. He desires to be close! It is us that push him away.

In the presence of God Joy is inevitable, even in the midst of turmoil. God manifests himself everyday to us, we just fail to recognize Him.

My favorite hymn speaks of God’s touch on our lives, “ He Touched Me.” This would have been an appropriate song for Zacchaeus to sing to our Lord. It explains exactly what happened to him that day in the Sycamore tree when called him by name! And what can happen to you, today!

Shackeled by a heavy burden, Neath a load of guilt and shame. Then the hand of Jesus touched me, and now I am no longer the same.

He touched me, Oh He touched me, and oh the joy that floods my soul! Something happened and now I know, He touched me and made me whole.

Since I met this blessed Savior, Since He cleansed and made me whole, I will never cease to praise Him, I’ll shout it while eternity rolls!

How much closer could we ask for? For God to touch us and make us whole. His presence is forevermore!

How close is God to You?

April Showers

April Showers Bring May Flowers

April Showers By Machelle McDowell

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?….Pilgrims! LOL

Why does it effect us differently when the sun is shining than when it rains? 

It is almost like a downcast falls on our soul. We experience a sense of gloom. The sun is hidden behind the clouds and a shadow of sadness follows us for a time. Why?

We should focus on the beauty after the rain! 

• A flower cannot bloom without rain and it must withstand the storms that come along the way. 

• The rains prepare the ground for the farmers.

• The rains filter the air from pollen and other aggravating allergy boogers!

Psalm 65: 9-10 “You visit the earth and water it; you greatly enrich it; the river of God is full of water; you provide their grain, for so you have prepared it.”

“You water its furrows abundantly, settling its ridges, softening it with showers, and blessing its growth.”

In Northern Ghana, April-October is their rainy season. Unlike us, the Ghanaians look forward to the rainy season because they realize it is the rains that prepare the ground for farming after a long dry season. It is the rains that brings the harvest!

I feel like God allows rainy seasons in our lives for a couple of reasons: 

ONE- We bring it on ourselves and He allows it! 

I am reminded of David in Psalm 51. He has been caught in laundry list of sins! It started with one thought that turned into a life changing event! He was guilty as charged: lying, deceit, lust, adultery that led to pre-meditated murder! This was no rain shower, but a torrential downpour!

God allowed David to suffer the consequences of his sin and in doing so it drew David back to the throne of the God of forgiveness! 

This torrential downpour that occurred in David’s life settled the ridges he had dug for himself and softened his heart toward God who blessed his growth. 

God works in our lives very much the same way. We can look back at the storms in our lives and see God’s hand in which he enriched us because of it.

TWO- God wants us to grow!

These torrential rains that David experienced bring about growth! They force us to reflect on who we are in Christ. Or perhaps, You don’t know Christ? 

In Ghana during the rainy season. The torrential rains flood the roads to the point they are impassable. You can’t go through the waters nor around them. So, you are left with one option. Go a different direction!

Could it be, God has placed us at a stand still in our country to force us to reflect on the path we are headed down?

Sometimes, God is just trying to capture our attention! He wants us to make some changes. He is warning, go the other way!! You are going to drown!

We are not so different than David! David became consumed with desires that were far from God’s plan for his life and it didn’t end well. Have we? 

Are you drowning in flood waters? Are you so deep into believing material wealth is your source of happiness? Are you drowning your life away in a bottle? Are you just floating through life with no real purpose? 

This could be true: Christian or Non-Christian. None of us are exempt.

The beauty of Psalm 51 is that David realized who his saving grace was in the floodwaters of his soul! 

He cried out for God to blot out his transgressions and to cleanse him and renew his spirit! God did! And, he can do the same for you!

Are you drowning in the floodwaters of this life? Let this April be one in which you let God pour down “Showers of Blessings” upon your soul that you might see the beauty that lies ahead! 

If you are a struggling Christian, take the path back to where you met Jesus and renew your heart for him. 

If you realize you are lost and are far from any path that is leading to Christ, cry out to Him! Let him flood your heart with his love. Let Him shower you with his grace and forgiveness. 

April Showers bring May Flowers!!! 

In The Midst Of Isolation By Machelle McDowell

You are not alone!

Philippians 1: 12 “I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.”

I don’t think any of us would have thought 2020 would have introduced a worldwide pandemic in that we are all experiencing some sort of definition of “isolation.”

We are Isolated from so many things we find to be, “the normal.” Our jobs, our families, our friends, our activities. It is almost like God said, “Pump the brakes on life as you know it.”

This very thing happened to Paul! Paul is going about his business of spreading the gospel, planting churches, discipling Christians and leaders and all of the sudden, God said, “Pump the brakes!”

Paul finds himself imprisoned. Isolated from his normal lifestyle. And, Paul responds by saying,
“I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel.” What?!

Is this our response to Covid-19? Do we see our isolation as an opportunity to advance the gospel? 

Paul is saying here, that no matter what our circumstances might be, make the best of it! Use it to bring glory to God. 

Our faith can shine in the midst of the darkness in all of this! Here are a few ways to advance the gospel in the midst of isolation:

Demonstrate Trust

We know God instructs us many times to not be anxious! We can certainly be concerned without having anxiety. What a witness to those around us than to demonstrate trusting God. 

What does that look like?

Not but a couple of chapters over in Philippians is one of my favorite verses about anxiety!

Philippians 4:6-7
Don’t be anxious, but in everything in prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Contact people, pray with them on the phone. Text people and let them know they are not alone. Offer words of encouragement by using scripture. Point to Jesus! Model Jesus! 

What better way to lead someone to Christ than to lead through example?

Show Love and Care

God’s greatest commandment is to love Him and love others! We should care deeply for people in a time like this. Reaching out and going beyond to meet the needs of hurting folks. 

We should celebrate the joys and recognize God’s blessings amongst the darkness around us.

We should weep with the hurting and let them know, they are not alone. Demonstrate a deep love and concern. When we love others with all of our heart; they know it. 

Love can break through all kinds of walls and reach the center of a person’s heart. It is there they will meet God!

Share Hope

There comes a time when we have to actually “share” the gospel with our words. We all have people in our lives that need to hear the gospel. There is no better time than now to share God’s truths with people! 

The world is in a position to hear! We are physically isolated and out of fear of the unknown are searching for answers! Now is the time! 

Christians, we have the answer! Share It! Paul says in Philippians 1:14 “Let us be bold enough to share it and proclaim the gospel without fear.”

Speak truth! 

Dear friend, I love you, but God loves you more! He sent his son to die on a cross to provide a way for you and me to come to the Father. It is the only way. It provided forgiveness. He was buried in a tomb for (3) days and conquered death! He arose and is alive! He has gone to prepare a place for His saints to be with him eternally. Do you believe this hope? Do you believe this truth? 

Believe in Him today! You will never feel isolated again! We are not alone, friends!

There is More to the Story

There is More To The Story

By Machelle McDowell

Glorify God!

I Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?  You are not your own. You are bought with a price. Glorify God in your body.

Our body is a temple? The Holy Spirit resides in us? if you are a born again believer, you were bought with a price……………, but there is more to the story!

We use our body for everything under the sun, but for what it was originally designed for: To make much of Him! Our actions demonstrate the opposite. 

We make much of us. It is seen clearly through our wants, our desires, our pleasures, our entertainment, and the list goes on of ways that we try to fulfill self. Not with the intention of glorifying any one, but ourself and certainly not God.

We were bought with Jesus’ blood as a ransom for our sin. A high price was paid!  God loved us so much that He knew the only way to bring us to himself was through a perfect sacrifice, His one and only son. 

It is no surprise to me the magnitude of the Corona Virus? How else to capture the attention of a world that idolizes themselves than to put a halt to the things that hold us captive? Doesn’t it make you wonder?

Harsh? Is it? Let’s be honest. Since our country has come to a halt, and this war with Covid-19 is running rampant, people are recognizing just how out of control we really are? God is our only hope.

• Could it be, God is trying to show us that we love “things” more than the things of God? We are addicted to the world more than we want to admit?

• Could it be, God wants us to trust him in that we don’t have to fear death? Jesus conquered death and gives us eternal life! There is nothing to fear if you are a born again believer. To die is gain! To be in the presence of the almighty creator and King of all Kings!

• Could it be, the inner strength that we rely on is our own? Are we truly trusting in the God of the universe who controls this whole mess? 

We serve a “Savior!” A risen Savior, who saved the world by becoming an escape goat for us! He carried the sins of the world on his body that we might be set free from the chains and bondage of a destination we all deserve….Hell. 

He shut the doors of Hell for the believers and opened the doors to eternity with him in heaven forever! Amen! This is the rest of the story!!

Church, we have been bought and we are not our own. It is time we stop living for the world and start saving people from the world. Point them to Jesus! 

We are living in a pandemic. Point people to the Savior. Our hope lies in Jesus Christ and him alone. Be the temple of the Lord and glorify God.

Let’s stop putting our faith in this world, it is all temporary. Here today and gone tomorrow. Jesus is forever. 

That is the rest of the story! (Paul Harvey’s famous line).

Easter 2020 - Loving the Haters (Walk Like Jesus)

Easter brings the reminder of our own crucifixion.  True conversion to Christ looks like death to self and life in Jesus.  May we imitate Jesus’ walk to the cross in how we love everyone around us, even those who hate us.  (Luke 9:23) “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

Treat your haters differently than you would’ve before you became a Christian.  (Romans 6:4) “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

Let the world smell Jesus in you, but realize Jesus reminds people of the reality of Heaven and Hell.  (2 Corinthians 2:15–16) “For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, [16] to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life.”

Anticipate opposition. (1 John 3:13–15) “Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.”

Prepare to receive hate when you speak and share the unadulterated Gospel.  (John 15:18–20) “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. [19] If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. [20] Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.”

Count persecution as a blessing. (Luke 6:22–23) “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man!  Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets.”

Choose loving action, words, and prayer towards those who hate you. (Luke 6:27–29) “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either.”

Live for your eternal reward, not for earthly blessings. (Luke 6:35) “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”

Avoid temptations towards arguments and silence. Proverbs 26:4–5 “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.”

Speak counter-cultural truth. (Isaiah 5:20) “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness”

Obey God, not men. (Acts 5:29) “We must obey God rather than men.”

Share the hope of salvation with passion and urgency. (Acts 2:40) “And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, ‘Save yourselves from this crooked generation.’”

Remember who you are in battle with. (Ephesians 6:12) For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood”

Pray for word of boldness, courage, and love. Ephesians 6:19 “that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gosp

After suffering, keep going. Acts 5:40–42 "they beat them and charged them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go. Then they left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they did not cease teaching and preaching that the Christ is Jesus.”

Remain faithful until the moment of death. (Revelation 2:10) "Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and for ten days you will have tribulation. Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life.”

Hate is real, but Jesus’ love is greater. Easter is coming.  Eternity is coming.  May we be ready to meet our Lord and Creator!

p.s. If you enjoyed these, I think you would really love John Piper’s Fifty Reasons Jesus Came to Die (free here: www.desiringgod.org/books/fifty-reasons-why-jesus-came-to-die )

Do You Hear Or Do You Listen? By Machelle McDowell

Can You Hear Me?

Why is it that God gave us two ears and one mouth? 

Not only do we not listen, but evidently we are blind as well! LOL. It is like, God said, “Here’s your sign!” LOL. 

Let’s ponder on that just a moment. 

The older I get the more I see the importance of being a good listener. People just want to be listened to, not just heard. 

James 1:19 warns us to be swift to hear, slow to speak. It takes some training to become an active listener. Whether we are listening to God or to another person:

• It reflects a love and a respect. 

• It says, “I care about what you have to say.” 

• It shows humility and it strengthens relationships.  

Wow, something so easy to do and yet so hard to master.

Do you remember or have heard about a columnist named, Erma Bombeck? She was popular about 40 years ago! She made a profound comment then that I think is so very prevalent in our society today.

She said, (quote), “that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners,” (end of quote). Wowzers! 

If she felt that way back then, I would be interested to hear her perspective today.

We are hearing, we are speaking, but are we listening? Are we under a communication overload? So much that we have stopped listening? I wonder? 

I think God is asking the same question. Are you really listening to me?

 We must be ready to listen to God. We must be in a position to listen to him and to others.

We cannot hear God or another person for that matter if we do all the talking or if our minds are distracted by other things. We live in a world full of distractions. There is a sense of focus that comes in to play. It takes an effort on our part. 

I believe, we live in a state of busyness that has trained us to not be good listeners. We don’t make time to practice being a good listener. We are ingrained to be in a hurry. 

Some of my favorite memories are those in which my family sat on my grandparents’s front porch and listened to them tell stories about my mother and her siblings when they were young or how my grandfather worked hard to make a living to care for the family. I could listen for hours! I wanted to hear what they had to say. We have to want to hear what is being said. 

Listening is an action word. In this verse God bends down to listen. How beautiful!………

Psalm 116:2-4 (NLT) Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!

I can envision God looking me in the eye and waiting patiently for me to share my thoughts with him. He intently hears my pain. Yes, when we listen intently, we can hear pain in a person.

He hears my burdens.  Sometimes, people just want to be able to share their emotions and all is needed is an ear. We don’t necessarily have to have an answer for them. People just want to be listened too.

And, we in return should listen patiently for God to respond to our prayer so that we might know his perfect will for us. Listening takes time and patience. We must make an effort to become a good listener. 

I tell my children in Sunday School that it is impossible to listen and speak at the same time. Sometimes, I will catch them off guard and call on someone who is talking while I am teaching, just to keep us all humble and to prove my point. (Ofcourse, they will not be able to answer the question I ask). It will buy me a few minutes of uninterrupted teaching time. LOL 

Jesus himself begins to teach a crowd the meaning of what defiles a person in Mark 7:14 by beginning with, “Listen to me, everyone and understand this.” Listening is imperative to understanding people, situations, and relationships. We must be tuned into the speaker in order to fully understand what is being spoken. 

Jesus says in this passage, that what comes out of a person can defile him. I don’t want to be found guilty of causing a person to feel belittled or less by my inability to be a good listener when they needed me to be one.    

That would not be a good testament of who we are in Christ…..He is the greatest listener of All!

If we are to model our Father, Jesus Christ, Listening is one of his greatest gifts! Help us Oh Lord, that we might be the sounding board for a lost world. 

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said-Peter Drucker