Marriage is amazing. Marriage is hard. Many of us have experienced both joys and challenges in marriage. A couple from our church, Ray and Yvonne McDowell, just celebrated 65 years of marriage. SIXTY-FIVE YEARS!?!?! Wow. What an example!
How can we imitate that example in our marriages and both survive and thrive in marriage? Here are some tips for marriage endurance from the one who designed marriage as a gift for us!
1) Go the Distance - Until Death Do You Part
No-one enters a race wanting to quit part way. Throughout the race there will be temptations that will oppose the goal of finishing. Marriage is the same way; Satan, the world, and our flesh will constantly come against our marriage and tempt us towards quitting.
Some have suffered unwanted divorces out of necessity and protection. Others are in such a dark period in their marriage that they don’t currently see a way forward. The Bible doesn’t condone abandonment, abuse, or adultery and does give specific guidance regarding divorce and remarriage (if this is your situation you will want to read 1 Corinthians 7:10-16).
Contracts allow conditional ways out of an agreement. The covenant of marriage places God as the author and uniter in marriage and reminds us that “what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6 ESV). Finishing the race of marriage “until death do us part” is not easy, but it is worth it!
“the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth…she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” (Malachi 2:14)
2) Love & Respect
Our attitude matters. The job description of a husband can be summed up with one word: love. The job description of a wife can likewise be summarized in one word: respect. When we interact with our spouses, whether in word or deed, we should ask ourselves whether we are showing love and respect?
“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
3) Humility & Help
Our default in life is to think of ourselves before and more often than others. When we change our minds to put our spouse’s needs in front of our own we will be amazed at how such a mindset helps us too!
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
4) Forgive Your Spouse
You spouse is going to sin against you, a lot. You are going to sin against your spouse, a lot. We all have sinned against Jesus, a lot. We find freedom and joy in our marriages when we forgive our spouse as Jesus forgives us, a lot (completely and continually).
“bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13)
If God has called you into marriage, may we endure and find joy in how God has designed our spouse to be a help to us in the hardships of life.
“Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman” (1 Corinthians 11:11)